1. |
Sixty Years
04:42
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Sixty Years
It’s been sixty years of singing and it isn’t over yet
In spite of all the cakes and ale and every cigarette
The choirboy and the Sunday school Sweet Lass of Richmond Hill
The Scottish songs that Mother sang they linger with me still
Harmony and Handel Arias and Hymns
Religion came; religion went but Dylan never dims
Experience that fuels the heart the ones who went too young
And left behind a legacy of songs they never sung.
CHORUS: And here so late one Sunday night
I sit and listen with delight
To songs that touch my spirit to the core
So much to see so much to do
I really haven’t got a clue
How people find the time to start a war
How many minutes’ silence, how many wreathes and flowers
How much more vigil keeping in those lonely midnight hours
Who bought you the bullets, and who bought you the gun
And who taught you to hate so much at only twenty-one
Maybe I don’t understand or maybe I’m naïve
But why do people have to die because they don’t believe
And do you think that if you win this battle, that’s the end
History should teach us that it all just starts again
Chorus:
But here among the living the loving and the kind
Life moves on, along its course with treasures still to find
My life is filled with music but there’s always room for more
A melody to touch the heart and slip into my store
Chorus:
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2. |
Ageing
03:09
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Ageing
I know my head is bald not hairy
Doctor says I should eat less dairy
I don’t believe in the Christmas fairy
I think I’m getting old
I don’t dress in silk and satin
All my clothes my bum looks fat in
Every night I take my statin
I think I’m getting old
Chorus: Chorus: Ageing when you think of it
Is built in obsolescence
But keep on bubbling up my friends
Don’t lose your effervescence
I have my senior citizen’s railcard
Lots of pounds I just can’t discard
Carrying the shopping makes me breathe hard
I think I’m getting old
My suspension’s kind of bumpy
Sometimes I can get quite grumpy
Not much time for rumpy - pumpy
I think I’m getting old
Chorus:
I stay away from scrapes and fusses
S&M and leather trusses
I just flash my pass on buses
I think I’m getting old
Running might have turned to strolling
Football’s given way to bowling
But I’ll still keep on Rock and rolling
Even though I’m old
Chorus:
Running might have turned to strolling
Football’s given way to bowling
But I’ll still keep on Rock and rolling
Even though I’m old
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3. |
Facebook Rant
03:45
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Facebook Rant
Lord, I want to be on Facebook I want lots and lots of friends
Feel the love and spread the message follow all the latest trends
All those videos and photos news from every continent
Hatches matches and dispatches sad despair or merriment
Candy crush with all its levels endless tricks by cats and dogs
Shots of every new adventure mountains, valleys, streams and bogs
Flash mobs springing out of nowhere disappearing whence they came
Why the world is in such chaos what to do and who’s to blame
Then it all gets very personal when I pooh and what I eat
When I wash my dirty undies why I had to change my sheet
Why my partner upped and left me what I drink and when I’m sick
Why the whole world is against me why they think I’m such a prick
People walking into lamp posts thieves caught breaking into cars
Shots of UFOs which tell us that there must be life on Mars
Shopping politics religion all of life is laid quite bare
I just want to be on face book is there anybody there?
(I wrote this verse later, but didn’t include it because it will become untopical)
Then of course there’s bloody Brexit, Brexit morning noon and night
Brexit seen from every angle, each of which, of course, is right
History that gets re-written; facts you never knew were true
Sound advice to solve your problems from friends you didn’t know you knew
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4. |
Steve Clarke's Dream #69
03:58
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STEVE CLARKE’S DREAM #69
Glory be said Johanna, I didn’t see this in my dreams
Heroes and villains employed in their vacuous schemes
Out here on the sidewalk the masters of war are at play
While corrupt politicians still claim they have nothing to say
Farewell Angelina, I’ll sure miss your steadying hand
I know you must leave now, while I stay on here with the band
It’s hard to resist the call now that the ship has come in
But your fate has been twisted and staying would be such a sin
I don’t know where I’m going, I can’t quite recall where I’ve been
Rusty and dull like the bell on an old tambourine
My weary tune ended, my stone has stopped rolling along
The times are a changing and I’ve stayed here just one day too long
(INST)
Well my dear sad eyed lady, your letter arrived in the mail
I was saddened to read that your watchtower is now up for sale
St Augustin is right when he calls you a pawn in their game
And though the wind’s changed direction the answer is always the same
Well I’ve been on the highway, I think I might go there again
The train is a crying, I’ll arrive but I cannot say when
Since time out of mind I’ve been stuck with the working man blues
So goodbye, I’m leaving won’t someone step into these shoes
Yes, since time out of mind I’ve been stuck with the working man blues
So goodbye, I’m leaving won’t someone step into these shoes
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5. |
A Pensioner's Life
02:53
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A PENSIONERS LIFE:
The weather vane on the old clock tower
Is pointing north – north - west
The wind is up from the southward
The place I love the best.
CHORUS: The Sun is hot
The breeze is cool
The wine is flowing free
The bones are barely aching
It’s a pensioner’s life for me
My working days are now long o’er
I’ve earned my day of rest
My duty done, my dues are paid
I can do what I like best
CHORUS:
Some are chilling down in Chile
Or frolicking out in France
Some are down in Cordoba
Learning how to dance
CHORUS:
Some are living it up sky diving
Or walking in the fells
Some are climbing in the Pyrenees
Or jingling Morris bells
CHORUS:
Some have a glass half empty
Some have a glass half full
Some push life to the limit
Some choose a life that’s dull
Some have tried, some have died
And are buried in the ground
But come what may, live for today
It’s the best advice I’ve found : CHORUS:
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6. |
Michael Marra
03:55
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Michael Marra
I miss Michael Marra, though I never saw him live
I miss Michael Marra, how I wish that he’d survived
Someone played one of his songs, just the other day
Now I miss Michael Marra though I never saw him play
I think hell is a place with no music
And life with no music is hell
So, keep telling stories with all of your soul
‘til there isn’t a soul left to tell.
Well now I’ve scoured the internet and discovered lots of songs
On you tube and on iTunes, though that’s not where they belong
Those songs belong inside my head, my mind, my soul, my heart
I miss Michael Marra, wish I’d known him from the start.
Chorus
I miss Michael Marra with the gravel in his voice
Something in those songs that says I just don’t have a choice
Those lyrical allusions hold me in a trance
Fill my mind with images, I wish my feet could dance
Chorus
I miss Michael Marra, though I never saw him live
I miss Michael Marra, how I wish that he’d survived
Someone played one of his songs, just the other day
Now I miss Michael Marra though I never saw him play
Chorus
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7. |
Verbed
03:11
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Verbed
We were sat on the back porch my IPad and me
Awaiting my on – line delivery
When my daughter came out and she said to me
“Father, we’ve just been texted”
CH: Call me a Luddite call me a clown
But I simply can’t make a verb out of a noun
My whole equilibrium gets quite disturbed
When discovering I’ve just been verbed
Incentivised, messaged and actioned as well
Face booked and googled my life’s become hell
I’m losing my grip, you can probably tell
And on top of it all I’ve been texted
Chorus
Once or twice I’ve been tangoed but that’s just old hat
Twittered and tweeted, not much harm in that
But now I’m the digital friend of a cat
And top of it all I’ve been texted
Chorus
I’ve been blogged; I’ve been parented, trended to boot
I’ve medalled and podiumed ain’t that a hoot
Meanwhile in the kitchen, they’re plating my fruit
And on top of it all, I’ve been texted
Chorus
Now I know that all language develops and grows
And linguistic arguments can come to blows
But I tell you, it really does get up my nose
When I find out that I’ve just been texted
Chorus
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8. |
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TAKE YOUR LIGHT AND LET IT SHINE
Chorus:
Take your light and let it shine
Take your light and let it shine
Just one little spark can lighten up the dark
So, take your light and let it shine.
I don’t know where this road is leading
It doesn’t feel safe beneath my feet
Somehow, it seems to me, it will leave us chained, not free
So, take your light and let it shine.
Chorus
Something tells me we’re in this together
And together we will have a better chance
When they find us out in space, will we still be one human race
Take your light and let it shine.
Chorus
We can boast about who has the biggest weapons
We speculate who has the greatest wealth
Will we be fighting for power, when we reach the final hour?
Take your light and let it shine
Chorus
Some folk think that I’m just sentimental
Perhaps they think that they can’t change a thing
If that’s what’s in the heart, we’re lost before we start
So, take your light and let it shine.
Chorus
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9. |
Three Minute Song
02:32
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THREE MINUTE SONG
I’ve written this song, it’s a three-minute song
Any meaning is coincidental
There are no protracted or meaningless breaks
Because the point of the song is the time that it takes
From the time it begins ‘til the time that it stops
Must only be three minutes tops
Don’t sing too slowly, don’t sing too fast
Three minutes is all it can last
But here comes a chorus so give it a blast
You might only get the one chance
Tick - Tock those one eighty seconds go past
Some seem eternal whilst others go fast
All in an effort to seek you a song
That can only be three minutes long
This song took much more than three minutes to write
I don’t know why ‘cause it’s lyrically shite
It fills, by layering clause upon clause
A vacuum that nature abhors
Tick - Tock those one eighty seconds go past
Some seem eternal whilst others go fast
All in an effort to seek you a song
That can only be three minutes long
This song won’t win contests, it hasn’t a chance
It’s wholly inept – quite frankly it’s pants
And it doesn’t have even a whiff of romance
But join me in one more refrain
Tick Tock those one eighty seconds go past
Some seem eternal whilst others go fast
All in an effort to seek out the song
That can only be three minutes long
So, I’ve written this song, this three-minute song
Its meaning is coincidental
There are no protracted or meaningless breaks
Because the point of the song is the time that it takes
From the time it begins ‘til the time that it stops
Must only be three minutes tops
That’s all, only be three minutes tops
One more, only be three minutes tops
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10. |
Gravity
04:39
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GRAVITY
My Grandad was a drunkard and so his life was tainted
He and Mr Gravity became quite well acquainted
He’d grab the nearest bottle and sit down in his chair
One-day original gravity kept him planted there
Chorus:
Oh, it’s an old old story that often gets retold
From Icarus to Kim Jong-Un that story won’t grow cold
Defying Mr Gravity and launching into space
Sometimes you, sometimes you lose and fall flat on your face.
My grandma was a fighter, a queen without a crown
Who swore that Mr Gravity would never pull her down
She brought up seven children and said that when she died
Her soul was bound for heaven, Mr Gravity defied
Chorus
When Apollo 15 left the earth one summer afternoon
A hammer and a feather went with them to the moon
They found that Galileo was right when he decreed
That even things of different weight would fall at equal speed
Chorus
The great Sir Isaac Newton, a man before his time
Wondered why his apples always fell in a straight line
Why didn’t they drift sideways or drift on up instead
Just then Mr Gravity hit him on the head
Chorus
This is a verse I left out:
I love the snowy mountains, I’ve been up quite a few
And when I ski I’ve found that there are things you shouldn’t do
A friend of mine discovered every time he put on skis
That gravity would take him for a trip into the trees.
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11. |
No Place To Go
04:28
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NO PLACE TO GO
There used to be sunshine there used to be fun
Now I’m out in the cold and my rambling is done
So, bring on the winter the wind rain and snow
My poor heart is breaking with no place to go
Well there used to be colour there used to be flowers
There used to be laughter how I treasured those hours
The time passed so quickly where now it drags slow
My poor heart is breaking with no place to go
They say memories linger and hold you in place
They say time is a healer, but it has its own pace
I don’t pay attention for what do they know
My poor heart is breaking with no place to go
The daylight is fading, and tears fill my eyes
Out there in the darkness a wolf howls and cries
The winter is coming with the wind rain and snow
My poor heart is breaking with no place to go.
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12. |
Infinity
04:50
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INFINITY
Leonard’s checked out of the Chelsea Hotel
There’s an ‘Up for Sale’ sign on the door
The sisters of Mercy have all packed their bags
They don’t want to stay there any more
They’ve all moved to live at the Hilbert
With its infinite number of rooms
An infinite number of cleaners
And their infinite number of brooms
Chorus:
Infinity beckons, infinity calls
Infinite holly decks infinite halls
Go there to see just one more New Year in
With infinite bottles of gin
The other hotels are quite jealous
They think it’s a scam or a joke
But the Hilbert proclaims it’s never quite full
And can take one more coach load of folk
It’s infinite number of residents
Eat infinite pieces of Pi
And in the kitchen, there are infinite onions
Bringing infinite tears to the eye
Chorus
So, keep your Hotel California
With its dark desert highway on view
Check in to the infinite hotel of light
And send me a postcard or two
Health and safety inspectors won’t visit
You’re not on their list for a call
And though there are infinite numbers
The infinite standards don’t fall
Chorus
If you’ve never heard of the Hilbert Hotel
In theory, you should take a look
You’ll find that it won’t have an email address
And its number is not in the book
The aeroplanes land on a Mobius strip
Where gravity has been mislaid
And I’m sure that you’ll have endless trouble
To work out the price to be paid
Chorus
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13. |
Body Count
01:58
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BODY COUNT
CHORUS: It’s an Agatha Christie Nightmare
A Midsummer Murder gone awry
I doubt if you can find a song
In which more people die.
By the end of the very first verse, at least three people had died
One was murdered, one was hung another was a suicide.
Chorus
By the end of the second verse we’d lost another four
A corpse in the kitchen, one on the stairs Two on the bathroom floor
Chorus
Verse three seemed calm and peaceful I was quite relieved, but then
A gale came out of nowhere and drowned three score and ten
Chorus
By this time, I was on anti-depressants And I couldn’t take much more
When the titanic hit an iceberg and that was the end of verse four
Chorus
So, to conclude my story we’ve reached verse number five
The horsemen of the apocalypse came So there’s no-one left alive.
Chorus
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